Today’s discussion about the social norms of men and women,
and the validity or invalidity of these, sparked some interesting ideas. It can
be an emotional issue and one that many people are passionate about, and
rightly so.
The first video played on strange social norms between the
relationship between a man and woman in a way that portrayed a husband as
having to do many things he doesn’t want to do, and that somehow infringe on
his manhood, for his wife. These included things like changing his diet, going
to work, and walking the dog, which, apparently from the video, society expects
him to do.
The second video focused on things that women are expected
to do by society. These included things like getting plastic surgery and
accepting less pay for doing the same job. This video was satirically
criticizing the first video.
In looking at these two videos, I think that the issue with
the first one and with the majority of the points in the second one is that
both men and women can do these things, and do do them. To act as if either sex
has to bear the burden of these jobs and the other doesn’t is unfair. For
example, one of the lines in the second video was regarding a woman raising the
family; however, many men are the primary caregivers to their children. I think
both of these videos make unfair over generalizations of both sexes, and to say
one is more accurate than the other is not fair. The exception to this would be
the lines in the second video about things like accepting less pay for the same
job, which is based in statistical fact.
The third video made this point by using a woman’s voice to
narrate the original video. This helps to demonstrate the fact that most of the
things mentioned are gender neutral.
I think that the important thing to consider about these
videos is that gender equality is a two way street. Is it fair to consider the
social norms and expectations of one gender unfair but not to consider those of
the other gender? There are double standards that favor both sexes, and I think
that it is important to realize this, and to focus on both of them to make sure
that what is being practiced is gender equality and not reverse sexism.
Sam Jordan
I agree that gender equalities is definitely a two-way street. Your post reminded me of a conversation I had the other day about feminism with a couple of my friends. One of the guys voiced his opinion that he felt that feminists were hypocritical because they only talked about inequalities that affected them negatively, such as unequal pay in the workforce, reproductive rights, and their objectification, but took for granted inequalities that benefitted them, such as chivalry. The chivalry argument is an interesting one; I think that my friend was mislead into thinking that all feminists believe chivalry is okay when really that is not true. I think most feminists would argue that men and women should both pay for meals, and both hold the door open for each other. They are not dismissing these inequalities, but rather putting the negative inequalities at the forefront of women's rights because these are the most important issues in our society, and also ones that easily draw press (which is necessary for reform). In my personal opinion, we should hold the door for anyone, regardless of sex or gender.
ReplyDeleteTo Maddy's point, I agree that it is harder for individuals, women in this case, to critique instances of "benevolent sexism" like chivalry because it is a bias that they often benefit from.
ReplyDeleteI also think that we brought up some important ways that society inherently favors women, like in divorce cases or cases of spousal abuse where the women is more readily believed than the man, assuming of course that these are heterosexual relationships.
While these instances most certainly exist and should not be left uncriticized, it is also important to understand that in our patriarchal society, white, heterosexual, middle to upper-middle class men are the ones who hold the most power and thus we need to tackle the dominant attitudes that discriminate all others first. Just like in cases of racism or homophobia, no one is saying that white people or heterosexual people do not experience prejudices, but the statistics show that they are not in the minority. The point is that stereotypes hurt everyone involved. They minimize the complexity of individuals and boil their personalities down to exaggerated characteristics.
Back to the videos, there is a difference between asking someone to be a good person and to share the responsibilities in a relationship (the video with the man voice over where he is asked to separate the recycling and endure listening to the woman's friends) and asking someone to accept their status as a second-class citizen (the video with the female saying she doesn't get paid as much, is accused of being emotion for having her period, etc.) One could simply tell the man not to be in relationship if he feels that "oppressed" but what recourse does the female have? Leaving the country to live somewhere where she does have equal rights? This litmus test shows that they are two different critiques, not reverse sexism.
I agree with a lot of what you said about the social fabrication of gender stereotypes. I think that men can raise a family, and do so in today's society. However, I do believe that naturally, with women being the carriers of children, have a natural inclination towards children and raising a family. If you ask most women today, I would argue that they would be more focused on raising a family than men would be. This is not to discriminate against women, or say that men cannot raise family. I am simply pointing out that there are certain things that are more participated in by women or by men.
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